Clean Searches

February 23rd, 2010 § 3 comments

Tonight we were flipping channels, and we hit upon American Idol. Normally, it’s one of the few reality shows that I don’t watch. But the contestant was singing Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Games,” so I paused.

“This is one of those songs that I can’t help but listen to, but makes me think of years that weren’t necessarily the best. This song. k. d. lang’s songs. What was that song? Constant… I know it wasn’t Constant Contact, but that’s what I keep thinking.”

Adam replied, “I dunno the song at all. I don’t know k. d. lang.”

Which of course meant I had to grab the nearest computer and do a search on k. d. lang. “Here’s the song! ‘Constant Craving.’ Here, I’ll play it for you.”

I play it for him. Doesn’t really ring a bell for him. But he does say, “Oh, great. Now Amazon is going to give me a bunch of crap in my recommendations. I like a clean search on my account”

Huh?

First of all, I didn’t use Amazon to search for the song. Second of all, he’s worried about crap in his Amazon results? Him?? Let’s look at what’s in my recommended results right this very moment at 9:43 p.m.: Kidz Bop 17. Wow. Can’t wait to hear that one. Clarice Bean, That’s Me. Think I might join a book club to discuss that one. LeapFrog Leapster Learning Game: Batman. Leaping lizards! StarStruck. Oooh! That Christopher Wilde is soooo dreamy!

That man better hide his computer at night. Because it’ll be worth it to me to wake up in the middle of the night to come do stealth searches on his computer on Amazon. I’m thinking: Selena Gomez or Martha Stewart, or, if I’m feeling particularly malicious, menstrual cups.

Clean searches. Bite me.

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