The seven-year-old boy
Me: So what’s today?
Doodles: My birthday.
Me: Are you sure?
Doodles: Yes.
Me: How can you tell?
Doodles: Because I got presents and I got streamers on my door. I have stuff written on my windows. And I get to choose what I want.
Me: And what do you want?
Doodles: A lot of stuff.
Me: Like what?
Doodles: A DS.
Me: Do you really think you’re getting a DS?
Doodles: No.
Me: So then what do you want that you will get?
Doodles: Let’s see. A Nerf gun.
Me: Really?
Doodles: Yes!
Me: It’s going to be a disappointing birthday. What do you like to do these days?
Doodles: Suck my finger.
Me: Still?
Doodles: Yes.
Me: I thought you were trying to quit.
Doodles: But I like it. I like to do my awesome dance. Play Club Penguin. I like reading everything.
Me: What are your favorite books?
Doodles: Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. Geronimo Stilton.
Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Doodles: Let’s see. A ballerina. Ha ha. Just kidding. I don’t know.
Me: What are you looking forward to in second grade?
Doodles: Let’s see. Studying Japan. Getting my own desk. Having my own supplies.
Me: Any grand pronouncements?
Doodles: Nope.
Me: Anything else to say?
Doodles: Everybody who reads this must jump up and down for the whole day.
Me: Really?
Doodles: Really.
