I HAVE A NIECE! Yes, this is big news in our house. I didn’t think it would ever happen, given that the Tweedle Twirp and her boyfriend of almost 20 years have declared themselves child-free (because apparently “childless” is not P.C.). But Adam’s brother has decided that procreation is not a bad thing, and my kids now have a first cousin.
The beautiful little girl, who shall henceforth be referred to as Dutch—Dutchie while she’s a baby—is healthy and sweet. I think I surprised my brother-in-law when I deferred on holding her, but as I had amply warned his wife, I don’t do babies till they have neck control (my kids have no such compunctions). Seriously, yes, I know I’ve had two of my own, but babies still scare the sh*t out of me.
Other random thoughts:
We asked Pie, who still has a nightly habit of crawling in to our bed:
Me: Who do you think will stop sleeping with her mom and dad first? You or Dutchie.
Pie: I don’t know!
Me: I bet Dutchie.
Doodles: Yeah.
Pie: You know, it’s all your fault! You put me in your bed when I was a baby and you got me in the habit of it! You can’t blame me! You did it!
Adam: I think she’s got you there.
Traffic on the way home from New Hampshire today was fierce. My boy said: “This f*king traffic is ridiculous!”
My daughter replied, “At least he used ‘f*cking* appropriately.”
Yes, I’ve raised them right.
My town has an e-mail list. Two, actually. A town-wide one and one specifically for parents. The one for parents has had a thread about allergen-free Halloween candy. If your kid has an allergy, I’m going to do my best to have some safe candy for him or her. I generally keep Skittles or the like on hand. But someone wrote in on the list saying she is picky about what her kids eat (no artificial flavorings, colorings, or preservatives) and she’d love it if people offered “healthy treats.” Really? Look, I have the last kids on the face of this planet who have never eaten at a McDonald’s (I actually have Pie scared of it: “The food has chemicals in it!!”) but even I let them have treats. If the candy is going to make your child sick, I’m happy to try and accommodate you, because no kid should be denied the fun of trick or treating. But if you just have a stick up your ass, well, too bad. Keep your kid home.
Oh, do you hear that? I think it’s Pie. Making her way to our bed….
