…Senior, Senior ’86!
Yes, I’m that old. Yes, my 25th high school reunion is this Saturday. Bite me, people. I’m 43. Get over it. Anyhoo, I’m not going to Miami Beach this lovely weekend in November, where the drinking is hot and so is the weather. I had planned on it, but life got complicated, and instead, I’m here in Massachusetts, most likely working the elementary school rummage sale. You may envy me now.
I know that lots of people had unusual high school experiences, but I truly feel that my high school was different. I’ve discussed it before. I’ll do it again. Because it’s my blog. So I can. If you don’t like, you can bite me. (Are you sensing a theme? It’s possible I’m a little cranky tonight.)
I went to a school known as Beach High. Yep. Beach High. Short for Miami Beach Senior High. But Beach High is a more fitting name. Even our mascot was odd. Hi Tide Harry. Did you get that? Hi Tide Harry. No, not “high.” “Hi.” Wonder why the scores at our school were never very good? But at least I had Hi Tide Pride. And open lunches. Where we could go wherever we wanted, which generally meant going to the corner sandwich shop for a colada of cafe Cubano, which pretty much meant we spent all of 5th and 6th period literally jumping out of our seats (and until I just read that Wikipedia description, I never realized a colada of coffee is meant to be shared! We simply called a colada of coffee “lunch.”). And driver’s ed where the teacher yelled at us for not going fast enough on the highway. A school where being Jewish meant you didn’t take gym (because there were a rash of us kids who were “allergic to grass,” [let’s not comment on the other lunch time activities] which conveniently meant I could still play badminton. Yes, badminton! Again, bite me, people!). One of our assistant principals–the disciplinarian of our school–was arrested for solicitation on Collins Avenue, back when Collins Avenue was not the Collins Avenue we know today. Your high school might have had snow days; my high school had “riot days.” Our school has been featured in Porky’s (the old building) and blown up in Band of the Hand (the school I went to; it’s been remodeled since). Where at the pep rallies the cheerleaders recited a cheer–complete with motions–that went:
Go bananas, go go bananas
Go bananas, go go bananas
You lean to the left,
and you lean to the right,
you peel your banana,
and UNNGGHHH take a BITE!
How is that an acceptable high school cheer? The parking lot was filled with Mercedes and even a Porsche. We dissected cats. We had teachers who said things like, “Too bad, so sad. Got a dime? Call someone who cares.” Our school graduated Baba Wawa, Mickey Rourke, Andy Garcia, Ellen Barkin, all alums. Ah, Beach High.
Yes, I’m going to miss out drinking and partying with the kids I drank and partied with 25 years ago. Not that I remember all that many of them. But a few I do. And I’ll miss them. But then I’m pretty sure that the other luminaries from my class aren’t going either. What you ask? Which luminaries, other than myself, are there?
Oh, we had quite a class. And in the illustrious class of 1986, we had some shining stars. Like Nevin Shapiro. The man who singlehandedly brought down the Miami Hurricanes. Oh, I’m sorry? Not enough for you? How about Brett Ratner. The man who singlehandedly brought down the Academy Awards this year. Let’s just say, not much has changed since high school. The Class of ’86. A classy bunch.
Oh yes. I’ve got Hi Tide Pride. I’ll just be displaying it up here in the almost-frozen North. If you’re at the reunion, have some Boone’s a mojito for me.
Actually, the official name was not Miami Beach Senior High School, but Miami Beach High Community School, because they held night school classes on campus. I have no idea why I know that.
Mr. Kurpius of the cat dissections also said, “Grandma was slow, but she was old.”
I’m going to my 20th in the frozen north next weekend. I thought my 40-person, all-girl, we’re-completely-naive class was unique until I read this. I’m laughing out loud over my coffee and Allison is desperate to know what’s so funny.
Dissected Cats? Really? The only thing I ever dissected in biology was a lamb’s heart (borrr-ring).
And why is it we always remember the stupid little sayings our teachers recited? I had one who you used to say things like, “Silence is golden, now let’s all get rich!” and “What do you think this is? Anyway?” I can’t remember what I learned in the class, or even what subject was taught, but I remember that, lol.
Among your alums, you should have noted Robert Rubin who, for better or worse, had more of an effect on this country than rest, put together.
Yes, cats! With lots of jokes about how there really IS more than one way to skin a cat. Although we pretty much all did it the same way. I won’t go into the details. At least not now. That seems like a story, or a blog post of its own, at the least!
And there was Mrs. Camus, who said the line I oft-repeat to my own children, “Boring people are always bored.”
Ah, high school. Yeah, I don’t miss it.
What – you didn’t mention 5th period and sunglasses…… how disappointing.
We did miss you at the reunion. And yes, I had a drink for you. See you soon!