My son is required to do a poster for a state for his 4th grade class. He was assigned a state. Nevada. I’m looking over his research. I’m noticing some glaring omissions. “You’re going to put that prostitution is legal as one of your ‘fun facts,’ right?”
“Mom! No!”
“Are you kidding me? Well, are you writing about Area 51?”
“No, Mom! I’m putting the state bird on the poster.”
Who is this boy? My one consolation is that for his “historic figure of the state,” he has chosen Bugsy Siegel.
Also, I tried to explain to the boy why the Bloodhound Gang’s song “Bad Touch†(that the link is not suitable for work goes without saying, right?) is probably the filthiest song ever played on mainstream radio, and all he could say was, “But there are no swear words in it!†The boy needs to understand the phrase double entendre. His most recent spelling words were lithification and asthenosphere, but he doesn’t get “Bad Touch”? (Although on closer examination of the lyrics, I wouldn’t so much call them double entendres as just bad word play.)
In other news, let it be known at the tender age of almost-45, I still become petty when my little (read: almost 42 year old) sister gets something that I don’t. When we were in New York last week, my mom said to Tweeds, “I know you like Malin + Goetz products, so I took a sample for you from that art fair I went to.†To which I automatically responded, “HEY!†Luckily my mom had a second for me.
Oh, did I forget to mention I went to New York? Possibly because my kids were so ill behaved I’ve tried to block it from my mind. My normally hardy travelers turned whiny and miserable, and I can’t say I was sorry that they all left Monday afternoon, while I stayed over till Tuesday morning. Why did I stay till Tuesday? Because I had a date. To see this guy:
Oh, yes I did. And it was just what I needed to help my boy through a Nevada state poster. Will he notice tomorrow morning that there’s an extra line in his “fun facts”?
Shrimp consumption in Las Vegas is more than 60,000 pounds a day.
About 150 couples get married in Las Vegas in a day.
In Nevada it is mandatory that video slot machines pay a minimum of 75 percent on average.
Nevada is the only state to have legalized prostitution.
Howard Hughes stayed at the Desert Inn for so long that he was asked to leave. He bought the hotel.
Vegas Vic, the enormous neon cowboy that towers over Fremont Street, is the world’s largest mechanical neon sign.
(Note: these are actual fun facts from the poster, with one teeny tiny addition…)
