Next Time Take It Black

March 12th, 2013 § Comments Off on Next Time Take It Black § permalink

Ten petri dishes growing bacteria are sitting on my dining room table in the name of science. Right now, I’m not a fan of science.

The same child who is growing bacteria also had to get himself to school this morning on his own. The girl and I go to a before-school P.E. program (she as a participant, myself as a volunteer) at 7:15 a.m. twice a week. This morning it happened that Adam had to leave at 7:15 for a work breakfast (at least I think it was work. It better have been work!).

Just before I was left, I woke the boy. “We’re all leaving now. I’ve set the kitchen timer for 45 minutes so you’ll know when to go to school. Please note that if you fall back asleep, no one is here to wake you nor will you hear the timer.”

In response I received a lovely, “Ungh!”

After the P.E. program was over, I went up to the 4th grade hall to make sure the boy made it to school. “You’re here!” I said when I found him at his locker. “Did you eat breakfast?”

“Yeah,” he told me. “But I put too much sugar in my coffee.”

I know we should be grateful for the little things, and today I am. Caffeine* + sugar + 9-year-old boy = a day in which I am extremely grateful that I’m not the one trying to teach him anything this morning.

*Okay, slight exaggeration. He does have to drink decaf, but still…

Driver for Life

March 5th, 2013 § 2 comments § permalink

My husband is taunting me with pictures on Facebook of elegant dining rooms and lingering dinners. He texted me a photo of the snacks at one of his meetings: a bucket–yes, a bucket–of gummy bears. He went to bed last night with no one kicking him in the ribs.

I–oh, wait a minute. I just stepped in a pile of Kix lying on the floor and have made a huge mess. What was I going to say? Whatever it was, suffice it to note that I am not having the elegant time of my husband, who has been swept off for the week for a conference in Berlin.

But alas it is not all bad here. Well, the sobs from the girl about missing Daddy, the boy’s refusal to practice his viola, and the insult-to-injury early release day today notwithstanding, things are going just hunky dory.

For starters, I’ve learned my daughter will not only live with me her entire life, but I shall have the privilege of chauffeuring her until the end of my days. In the car, we had this discussion:

The girl: When Doodles goes on his retreat this weekend, I get to be alone with you and Daddy!
Me: Yes, you do.
The girl: Doodles, you had two years alone with Mommy and Daddy.
The boy: Huh?
Me: Yep. Before you were born, Doodles.
The boy: Oh.
Me: But, Pie, you’ll have two years alone with us when your brother goes away to college.
The boy: But I want to go to M.I.T., so I won’t be going away.
Me: Even if you do get to go to M.I.T., you’re going to want to live on campus.
The boy: I can do that?
Me: Yes. It’s part of the college experience, moving out of the house, living with friends. It’s something you’ll be ready to do by the time you go to college.
The boy: Okay.
The girl: Not me! I’m not going to college because I don’t ever want to leave home!
Me: You may find you feel differently when you’re 17.
The girl: No way! I just won’t go to college.
Me: Well, if you feel that way, we are in a major college town and there are plenty of schools you can go to and still live at home. Heck, there’s a college just 15 minutes away.
The girl: And you’ll drive me to class?
Me: Uh, no. You’ll drive yourself to class.
The girl: No way! I’m not going to college unless you’re driving me to classes!

Let’s re-visit this blog post in 2023, shall we?

In the meantime, I’m getting a decent amount of editing done on my novel, and I’m feeling good about the changes I’m making. And I just had a short-short accepted for publication in the Sierra Nevada Review, which is always an exciting thing. And I know I have a big bag of gummies coming to me at the end of the week (are you paying attention, Adam?).

Back to writing. Gotta get as much done as I can before I’m expected back behind the wheel. Ta ta!

I Should Be Writing…

March 1st, 2013 § Comments Off on I Should Be Writing… § permalink

I’m about 1/3 of the way through edits on my manuscript, but there are so many more pressing things that I’m having a difficult time focusing on the work. For instance:

1) I’m distressed that my 4th grader has spelling words that not only do I not know how to spell without the help of my good friends Mr. Merriam and Mr. Webster, but words of which I’ve never even heard! An extra Girl Scout cookie for anyone here who can properly use “argillaceous” in a sentence without first looking it up (and if I’ve told you the definition, you are disqualified). I’ve told the boy he has two options as far as I’m concerned on today’s spelling test that I’d be fine with: He can spell everything right except for “argillaceous” or he could spell everything else wrong and spell “argillaceous” correctly. Heck, I’ve typed “argillaceous” four times now, and I still have to refer back to the list of spelling words to see how it’s spelled. By the way, this is the same list where my son has to spell the word “gentle.”* “How could you have spelled ‘gentle’ wrong?” He said, “I could have sworn she said ‘gentile.'” Another reason it’s hard to be a Jew in the public schools.

*The kids are given a pre-test of 30 words. The first 10 words they get wrong are their spelling words for the week. If they get fewer wrong on the pre-test, they have fewer spelling words for the week. Nothing annoys me more than the weeks when the boy has three spelling words for the week and he still spells two wrong on the Friday test.

2) I’m three shoe boxes short for today’s Brownie meeting. These important things take up brain space, people!

3) Goats. How can anyone work when Taylor Swift is singing with goats. I’m obsessed.

4) The knowledge that at this very moment, people are frolicking with sea lions, marine iguanas, and blue-footed boobies and I’m sitting here not writing.

I’m working on the Galapagos slide show/recount of the trip. But then I’m also working on the novel, the boy’s spelling, Brownies, baking hallah, and all those other wonderful things so it may be a bit. But I promise one thing when I do get to it: There will be nothing argillaceous about it.

My Morning Run

February 20th, 2013 § 1 comment § permalink

This morning, for some reason, I woke early and decided to go for a run on this little island of Isabella. I took a right out of the hotel and figured I’d find something. I brought along my trusty phone in case I wanted pics. Glad I did. I’m guessing I ran about three miles but the run took almost an hour as I kept stopping to ooh and ahh.

The sunrise was lovely.

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Then I ran past this colorful cemetery.

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I peeked in on the organic (referring to the materials; not a statement about pesticides) beach.

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Of course the cacti must be admired.

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As I was heading down to La Playita, I was stopped by these two characters. Though I know they’re harmless, I was wary of going around them so I took it as a sign that I should head back.

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Well played, iguanas, well played. From here, I’m off to hike a volcano. But first I must choose which child to sacrifice once atop. At this point, it could be either one….

Today

February 18th, 2013 § Comments Off on Today § permalink

Today I kayaked with sea lions, swam with sharks, and hiked around the crater of an old volcano. I can’t remember the last time I was so tired. The Galapagos will wear you out. How was your day?

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Quitting Quito

February 17th, 2013 § Comments Off on Quitting Quito § permalink

Ah, just one quick day in the capital city before we’re off again!

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When I Knew Everything

February 16th, 2013 § Comments Off on When I Knew Everything § permalink

When I was a kid, there was a joke I liked. My best friend’s name was Charlie (and I was jealous because she had a cool perfume named for her and she could be a Charlie girl; the name Jennifer sucked even in the ’70s). When Charlie wasn’t around, I’d say, “Charlie and I know everything in the world. Ask me anything.” Then when a question was asked, if I didn’t know the answer, I’d say, “Oh that’s one of the ones Charlie knows.”

When I tried it on my father, he asked me, “What is the capital of Ecuador?” Of course in those ancient times before the era of Google, I didn’t know it. But he remembered the joke a few days later, and he thought he was oh-so clever when Charlie came over, and he asked her what the capital of Ecuador is. She didn’t know it, either. My father lorded that one over me for many years. And, on countless occasions, when I didn’t know something, he’d say, “Well, Charlie must know that one.”

The one thing that came of all this (besides the emotional damage that comes from a father trying to outsmart his 2nd grade daughter) is since the age of seven, I’ve had the capital of Ecuador burned into my brain.

Who knew I’d ever put it to use! And my kids, when asked, won’t have the humiliation of ignorance as they won’t hesitate to answer the question of the capital of Ecuador.

Welcome to Quito, folks! (Now please don’t ask me to name any other South American capitals!)

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Where in the World Are Doodle and Pie?

February 15th, 2013 § Comments Off on Where in the World Are Doodle and Pie? § permalink

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Off on another grand adventure. But this time to…

How Much Snow?

February 9th, 2013 § Comments Off on How Much Snow? § permalink

Pie and the neighbors built a snowman yesterday as the snow was just starting. This is the poor snowman this morning.

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The Problems of Adulthood

February 9th, 2013 § Comments Off on The Problems of Adulthood § permalink

The girl [singing]: I want more mango. I want more mango!
Me: Bring me your plate.
The girl: Wow, cutting mango looks hard.
Me: It is a little hard.
The girl: That’s why I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want to have to cut my own mango.
Me: That sounds like a good reason.
The girl: Do you think I should just live you when I grow up? So you can cut my mango for me?

  • Who I Am

    I read, I write, I occasionally look to make sure my kids aren't playing with matches.

    My novel, MODERN GIRLS will be coming out from NAL in the spring of 2016.

    I mostly update the writing blog these days, so find me over there.

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