the pieces of my life

In early May:
Pie: I think I want to be a vegetarian to protest the treatment of animals.
Me: That sounds good.
Pie: Tab has been a vegetarian for two years because she loves animals.
Me: I know. She’s the only kid I know who turns down marshmallows on principle. So, what do you want for dinner tonight?
Pie: Chicken.
Me: I thought you were going to be a vegetarian?
Pie: Oh, I meant I’d start in June.

Later in May:
Me: So, you’ll be a vegetarian starting in June?
Pie: Yes, but just for a little bit.
Me: How come?
Pie: Because I’m going to want bacon on my birthday.

June 1, early in the day:
Me: What should we have for dinner?
Pie: Steak!
Me: But it’s June 1. I thought you were going to be a vegetarian.
Pie: Oh, I decided that instead of being a vegetarian, I’d just eat more healthy and try new foods.

June 1, dinner time:
Me: I made a kale salad. I made it with no tomatoes, no onions. It’s just kale and avocado, and you love avocado.
Pie: No, thanks.
Me: I thought you were going to eat healthier and try new things?
Pie: You know I don’t like my vegetables mixed.

Tonight:
Pie: Five Guys is the best. Oh my God, I would die without these hamburgers! But their bacon hamburgers are terrible. They tear up the bacon! Such a terrible way to treat bacon!

The way I see it, as a tourist, the biggest problem with Israel is that there are only three meals in a day. I know when most people think of food, they think Italy or France. But out of all the countries to which we’ve been, hands down Israel is my favorite eating, and it has the food I most often try to replicate at home. The fruits and veggies are so fresh (and they are only available in season here); the breads are scrumptious; the sauces are tantalizing.

On our first night here, we met up with cousins. The kids, despite the language barrier, hit it off immediately. Ignoring age, the kids paired up by gender: 8-year-old Pie with her 11-year-old cousin and 10-year-old Doodles with his 8-year-old cousin. Apparently there is one thing that can cross all age and language barriers and Pie and Girl Cousin found it: Rainbow Loom (although in all fairness, Girl Cousin’s English is quite good). Doodles and Boy Cousin played chess and ran and discovered they both know all the words to “What Does the Fox Say?” (joy for the rest of us). Fast bonding for the two of them, and both kids are eager to see their newfound Israeli cousins tomorrow.

Giggling cousins

Rainbow loom: maker of friends

That first night with the cousins, we went for pizza in their neighborhood. Pizza, right? It was amazing. The mom was disappointed that Boy Cousin wanted such a boring pizza, but we were fascinated. We’d never eaten pizza with corn on it, but it was delicious. Turns out it’s a super common topping here, probably like mushrooms for us. They also put sauces on their pizza when they get them, either a hot sauce of a tomato sauce.

Pizza with corn

At almost every hotel in Israel, breakfast is included. The spread of Israeli breakfasts are fabulous, and I have to remind myself that there will be two other meals in the day. Israeli salad, vegetables, fruit, fish, bread, eggs, cheese, so much food (but never, mind you, meats, because all the hotels are kosher and you cannot mix milk and meat at a meal). Even my food adverse son is able to eat, as yogurt and, yes, puddings, are always available for breakfast.

What I eat:

Bread, fruit, Greek salad, fish, avocado egg salad

What the boy eats:

Egg, bread, chocolate and vanilla pudding

And then just on the streets and in the markets, where the piles of fresh food and pastries tempt you at every stall.

Spices in the Carmel Shuk

Pastries in the Carmel Shuk

A bread and egg concoction that both children ate while seeing Old Jaffa

Pomegranates in the Port Shuk

On about every third corner is a fresh juice stand, where they have just about every kind of fruit and veggie possible. I swear, before I leave, I’m going to have a kohlrabi juice. The woman at the stand said it’s quite good.

A just-moment’s-ago squeezed grapefruit juice

And finally, tonight, the kids weren’t hungry for dinner, so I took the opportunity to indulge in my beloved eggplant, which no one else likes. I had heard of a dish called Sabich, and I was determined to try it. The stall was about a mile from the hotel (ha, Duchess! Even in my quest for food, I’m wracking up the steps!), and it was worth every step. I. Love. This. Food. The pita is incredibly soft. And inside it is fried eggplant, potato, hardboiled egg, hummus, tahini, veggies, and spicy mango sauce. The guy who made it was super friendly, and made sure to make it spicy for me.

Sabich

I’m already plotting how to ditch the family again and go back for another sabich before we leave Tel Aviv. Now I’m full and exhausted. I’m going to go to bed and dream of sabich.

While on my deathbed, my cold settling into my chest, the doorbell rang. It was Lilith. Delivering treats.

Oh. My. God. Would they live up to the hype?

Only one way to find out.

Yes! Yes they do!!

The kids concur, which is sad because that is exactly the first and only cookies they’ll be eating from this package.

And I think they’re a miracle cure because I already feel like I have more energy and I’m SURE it has nothing to do with the sugar rush.

Thank you, Lilith!!!

Apropos of truly nothing, as we’re walking out the door to head to school, my daughter says to my son: “You know, Doodles, if you cut off your p*enis, you’d have a v*agina.” Clearly it’s time to revisit It’s So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families.

I am truly incapable of getting offline. I just shut down mail so I could get out a blog post and then return to novel writing. Yet, while waiting for WordPress to load, I compulsively yet unconsciously hit my mail button, thus relaunching the mail I had just closed. Damn you Internet and your siren call! This is why I need programs like Freedom. Because I have no self-control.

Did you know that apparently there are people out there who don’t like candy corn? And people who aren’t out running madly from store to store searching for the new Candy Corn Oreos (no, I did NOT go to a different grocery store one town over to see if they had it because my local Stop N’ Shop didn’t! I went to the other store because… um… well… And no, they didn’t have it, either). The only thing I can POSSIBLY think of that would be better would be Peeps Oreos. Oooh, deep fried! Deep fried Peeps Oreos! Hey, a girl needs to have her dreams.

I’ve had a bunch of volunteer activities at the kids’ school this past week. Every time I see the girl, she insists that everything be dropped and I give her a hug. “Mommy, the rule is every time I see you, you need to give me a hug.” Yes, I’m sure the teachers love that. Yet, we get home and I say, “Hug time!” she said, “Not now!” When I remind her of the rule, she looks at me exasperated, “Mom! That’s only a rule for school!”

Okay, time in enact Freedom and to get some novelin’ done! Till next time!

Last night at dinner:

Pie: What’s for dinner?
Me: Do you just want your cupcake?
Pie: Huh?
Me: I’ll let you eat your cupcake for dinner.
Pie: Um, well, I should probably have some protein first. It’s healthier that way.
Me, shocked: Uh…
Pie: And you should too. Make sure you have some protein—and calcium—before you eat your cupcake!

Thank goodness she went to bed long before I ate my, um, dinner. Yep, that’s what we’ll call it. Dinner.

I went a little nutso at Whole Foods. Because we’re going camping with two other families. And it’s a well known fact that camping requires copious amounts of food. There must be meals. Snacks. Drinks. Grown-up drinks. Treats. We divvied up the shopping. So I bought three bags of marshmallows, two boxes of graham crackers, 12 bars of chocolate. I have three bags of chips. Three cucumbers, six peppers, a mammoth bag of baby carrots. I have two packs of sausages, two packs of hot dogs, two packs of buns. Let’s not discuss the wine. Just to be sure there was enough, I bought a bag of cheesy popcorn and a bag of kettle corn. Throw in some cereal bars for kids who don’t want to eat anything else. And some apples. Which will only be eaten with chocolate peanut butter. And I’d like to grill up some bananas. Two boxes of cereal. Juice for the morning. Coffee and milk.

Of course, the other two families are also bringing food.

Which would be fine if we were going for a week. But we will be camping for a whopping 36 hours. In a state forest that has potable water. And is about a fifteen minute drive to a convenience store. And it’s supposed to thunderstorm. So the trip might be a mere 18 hours.

And it’s not like I have a working oven to make s’mores at home. Can you toast marshmallows over a gas range? I have a hunch I might be finding out…

The boy and I start watching Food, Inc.. It begins by talking about how fast food has changed the way food is produced in this country. We’re not three minutes into it before the boy says, “Mom?”

“Yes?” I reply.

“For my next birthday, can we go to McDonald’s?”

“Just keep watching…” I tell him.

We get to the part where they discuss how much corn is in the food we eat.

Me: Do you like corn?

Doodles: No!

Me: Do you know how much corn is in the food you eat?

Doodles: Oh, about 50 gallons!

We got about twenty minutes in when I forced him to bed. We can only watch after Pie has gone to bed, but I refuse to let him stay up that late. I’m sure I’ll regret letting him watch it, but I want him to know where his hot dogs are coming from.

This could be interesting….

I want to start tonight with my faux-pumpkin bars. They were fabulous, and highly unappreciated in this house, although when I went to give a bunch of the leftovers to our neighbors, my boy did panic and say, “You’re not going to give all of it away are you?” They were spectacular faux-pumpkin bars. Once a week, we get a delivery from Boston Organics, a box full of organic fruits and veggies, and I’m on a quest to actually use all the items we get. (Never fear–it never goes to waste. I fondly call Beetle, my neighbor, our human garbage disposal, as she’s always game to take any food that will be uneaten in our household.) I’m also trying to cook as many meatless meals as possible, something which is not going over that well with the rest of my household members (read: Adam). For instance, on Wednesday we had a lovely cauliflower and tomato curry-like dish that I enjoyed and Adam tolerated. And today we had my lovely bars, a recipe I found online and then tweaked to perfection, replacing the pumpkin with organic delicata squash (hence the faux), mixing up the sugars, removing the chocolate chips and adding a cream cheese frosting. Mmmmm!

And now let’s move on to my faux-healthy daughter. She fools me every day, acting healthy and chipper and happy and then–wham!–at night, she has aches and pains that keep her for hours on end. Last night she awoke at 2 a.m., saying her “brain hurt.” Uh oh,, I thought. Here it comes. Piggy flu. Sudden onset. Headaches. But then she woke up with a lovely 98.7 degree temperature and an upbeat attitude. She went to school. On Friday we have our special Mommy-Pie time, as she’s done at noon and we have no activities till we pick up Doodles at 2:15. Today we went on a “hike” (read: woodsy walk), stopping frequently to read the book du jour, Chicken Soup with Rice. At the end of the hike, we had to walk up a small hill. And my daughter–the one I had always thought of as suspiciously smart–announces, “I’m going to roll up the hill!”

“You mean down,” I said.

“No!” She looked at me like I was crazy. “Up!” And then she proceeded to roll up this rather steep hill. Tonight Adam said to her, “You thought you could roll up a hill?” and she laughed at him and replied, “Daddy! I did it!”

And tonight, she’s in bed, with not quite a fever, but verging on one, snoring loudly and crying out in her sleep every now and then. So frustrating! We’re supposed to have a special Mommy-Daughter trip next weekend–I hope she’s healthy enough to go.

And now let’s end with faux time. Which is what I had today, after I dropped Pie off at school, ran some errands, and hurried home to get a few things done. But then I giddly looked at my watch and realized I had accomplished everything I needed to do faster than I thought and I had a precious whole forty-five minutes to write! It’s Nanowrimo month, and I’ve consciously decided not to participate as I don’t want to start something new; I want to finish something old. So I sat down at my computer… and saw I was late to pick up Pie. Huh? Look at computer. Look at watch. Look at computer again. Look at… stopped watch. Damn.

No more faux. Off to sleep. I’m hoping for the real deal.